Ain't No Cara Delevingne: No Neanderthal Brows For Me, Thanks.

I know, I know, I know. Bold brows are really in right now. And every beauty brand on the planet is doing brow products - balms, powders, pencils, the whole nine yards.

But like, I fucking hate that shit. The last thing I need is another thing to feel more self conscious about - are my brows too sparce, too thin, are they shaped right for my face? Like, they're eyebrows, man. I don't want to worry about having trendy fucking eyebrows.

But I was, for a hot second. My eyebrows have always been thick, like the rest of the hair on my head is, so I do trim them up a bit just to lift my face up a little and I wax when I need to to get rid of that pointy arch so I don't end up looking like Darren Criss with his triangle brows:

Sidenote, Darren Criss is my long lost twin brother.

So I went to Sephora on one of my lunch breaks (it's across the street from my office, so dangerous) and had my brows done. I bought those Anastasia Beverly Hills Stencils to try and help me shape at home. And I had one of the girls show me how to use a brow pencil.

The image at the top is my natural brow on one side, penciled in brow on the other. Here's another shot:

You can probably tell, I don't look too thrilled. She was trying to convince me that they frame the face, look how good I look, the brows are the first thing people notice, blah blah blah basically trying to sell me shit. She told me to take a picture to see it from someone elses perspective. But I'm so not convinced.

Then she did both...

I mean, who is this person???!!

I think they weigh my face down when they're like that...I mean, they're thick enough as they are. They don't need to be filled in. And I have small eyes on top of that, so any added crap on my head makes it look like my eyes are being swallowed by black beast brows over top. They're eating my face, and I think I look like a neanderthal. I hated it so much that I wiped them off as soon as I got back to the office. Seriously, seriously awful.

So okay, fill in your brows if you want to. Get your Cara Delevingne brows, frame your face, whatever. But keep me the hell out of it. I'd rather not look like I'm about to smack you over the head with a club and drag you back to my cave, even if my caveman loincloth is Dior.

Evil Queen Style Tip #4: Monster Guiseppe Heel, That's the Monster Shoe (This is a Shoespiration Post)

Evil Queen Style Tip #4: Monster Guiseppe heel, that's the monster shoe. @NICKIMINAJ @GZanottiDesign #styletip #evilqueen #fashion
— Christina Orlando (@christinaostyle) December 1, 2013

Guiseppe Zanotti


McQueen SS10


McQueen FW11


Iris Van Herpen FW14


Rodarte x Louboutin fw08


Aoi Kotsuhiroi

Louboutin


YSL


Valentino


Frankie Morello

MAC x Osbournes: Bloody Brilliant Eyeshadow Quad

I haven't really been this excited about a makeup collaboration in a while, actually. When it was first announced that MAC was gonna be working with Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, I was immediately scouring the internet for swatches and hints of what the products might be. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.

Kelly has really stepped up her style game in recent years and is sporting some dope ass lavender hair of which I am thoroughly jealous. She's always been punky and fearless with her style, and her MAC collection is just that - full of bright purples, pinks, and oranges that are made for standing out from the crowd. And when I buy makeup, that's what I want. Fuck yo' neutrals, ya know? Purples kinda are my neutrals now.

I actually only ended up getting the Bloody Brilliant Eyeshadow Quad from her collection cuz the rest was sold out, but I'm really loving it.  Four shades are really all you need to create both daytime and nighttime looks.

From bottom: Spoonful of Sugar, Tickety Boo, Fizzy Rose, Shadowy Lady

Spoonful of Sugar is a really lovely shimmery champagne color thats perfect for highlighting under your brows or in the corners of your eyes. Tickety Boo is a great neutral base, and Fizzy Rose is a beautiful lavender that works well as an unexpected all over color or a base. Shadowy Lady might me my favorite of the pack - it's a dark purple that makes for a great smokey eye. I'm loving it for nighttime going out looks, and it's a great alternative to your blacks or greys.

Overall, I'm really pleased with this quad. The color payoff is amazing even without a primer, and it's extremely versatile if you're willing to step away from your Naked 3 palette for a while and get into some color.

Great job, Kelly. I am jealous of everything you chose to be.

Evil Queen Book Club: Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

Wicked is one of my favorite novels of all time. It's expertly written with dramatic prose, well fleshed-out characters, and a beautiful weaving story. It's intelligent, and is the perfect balance between realism and fantasy.

Wicked tells the story of the character we know as The Wicked Witch of the West, from the classic Wizard of Oz story. Here, she is re-imagined as Elphaba (the name comes from the original author's name, L. Frank Baum) - the green girl born to Munchkinlander parents. At university she meets Glinda (then Galinda, eventual Good Witch of the North) and the two become friends. At school, Elphaba also meets the influential Dr. Dillamond - a talking goat who is conducting scientific research that the Wizard of Oz doesn't want to get out. The murder of Dr. Dillamond leads Elphaba on a crusade against the Wizard and his injustices against Oz and it's inhabitants.

For me, what makes this book is Elphaba as a character - she is intelligent, strong-willed, and fights for what she believes in no matter how that alienates her from her friends and from society. She does not let the color of her skin define her (and there is a lot of prejudice against her because of her green-ness), and grows into a smart and able woman. Elphaba's sass and wit is evident throughout the novel, and she makes a strong case for the term "Wicked" being applied to someone who is just simply different and refuses to fit in. I think we can learn a lot of lessons from her.

I also really love that this book isn't a fantasy the same way the original story is. Of course, the original story is meant for children and Wicked is definitely an adult novel, but Maguire does a superb job of making Oz seem so real and accessible - everything from descriptions of it's landscape and it's people to the truthfulness of how the Emerald City operates (it's neglect of the poor and needy, the gaudiness simply to please an inept ruler, the inner workings of elite society). Oz no longer seems the technicolor dream of Judy Garland's film, but instead a gritty, corrupt country with problems that reflect real life.

Discussion Questions:

1) What did you like about this book, what did you dislike? What do you think are the major differences between Wicked and the original Wizard of Oz story? For those of you who are fans of the musical version of Wicked, what are the major differences you see there? How do you think the similarities/differences effect the story and your impressions of it?

2) How do you think Elphaba and Glinda (and the other women of this novel) stand as strong female characters? What makes them interesting or likable? What makes them unlikable? What do you think are their strongest qualities?

3) What do you think this novel has to say about those who are different in society? How do you think the characters are marginalized, and how do they deal with prejudices against them?

4) What do you think makes Elphaba "wicked"? What do you think this novel has to say about the nature of wickedness, or it's perception?

5) What other classic stories would you like to see re-imagined in the same way, with more background, etc? What other classic villains would you like to learn more about?