Ain't No Cara Delevingne: No Neanderthal Brows For Me, Thanks.

I know, I know, I know. Bold brows are really in right now. And every beauty brand on the planet is doing brow products - balms, powders, pencils, the whole nine yards.

But like, I fucking hate that shit. The last thing I need is another thing to feel more self conscious about - are my brows too sparce, too thin, are they shaped right for my face? Like, they're eyebrows, man. I don't want to worry about having trendy fucking eyebrows.

But I was, for a hot second. My eyebrows have always been thick, like the rest of the hair on my head is, so I do trim them up a bit just to lift my face up a little and I wax when I need to to get rid of that pointy arch so I don't end up looking like Darren Criss with his triangle brows:

Sidenote, Darren Criss is my long lost twin brother.

So I went to Sephora on one of my lunch breaks (it's across the street from my office, so dangerous) and had my brows done. I bought those Anastasia Beverly Hills Stencils to try and help me shape at home. And I had one of the girls show me how to use a brow pencil.

The image at the top is my natural brow on one side, penciled in brow on the other. Here's another shot:

You can probably tell, I don't look too thrilled. She was trying to convince me that they frame the face, look how good I look, the brows are the first thing people notice, blah blah blah basically trying to sell me shit. She told me to take a picture to see it from someone elses perspective. But I'm so not convinced.

Then she did both...

I mean, who is this person???!!

I think they weigh my face down when they're like that...I mean, they're thick enough as they are. They don't need to be filled in. And I have small eyes on top of that, so any added crap on my head makes it look like my eyes are being swallowed by black beast brows over top. They're eating my face, and I think I look like a neanderthal. I hated it so much that I wiped them off as soon as I got back to the office. Seriously, seriously awful.

So okay, fill in your brows if you want to. Get your Cara Delevingne brows, frame your face, whatever. But keep me the hell out of it. I'd rather not look like I'm about to smack you over the head with a club and drag you back to my cave, even if my caveman loincloth is Dior.

From The Good Queen: My Amazing Sephora Experience featuring Estee Lauder, Urban Decay, NARS & more!

I've been in a rut lately. Around Christmas I began trying new moisturizers because my tried-and-true BareMinerals was just not cutting it in this dry winter air. Also, I'm now in my mid-30s and not only is my skin changing, but it's time to get serious about anti-aging. I've also been feeling as if I need an entirely new routine. A dear friend told me that you can get your face done at Sephora for free with a $50 purchase -  how easy is that?! - and I've been searching for a free weekend day to go. That day finally arrived. When I went to make the appointment I discovered that there is another option: a personal beauty consultation. More in-depth and a minimum $125 purchase. Sign. Me. Up.

The appointment is supposed to last for 90 minutes. But thanks to a cancellation, my personal beauty adviser (PBA), Rosita, spent two hours with me. A PBA-in-training, Sharee, set me up in a private room in the back of the store, offered bottled water and snacks, and made me feel like a real VIP.  Sharee removed the tinted moisturizer and concealer I had on with a Caudalie makeup remover product and, because I mentioned dry skin, applied an amazing, life-changing product called GLAMGLOW Thirstymud as a masque. Rosita and I talked for a while at first about my concerns and what I was looking to achieve that day. I also brought along a all the e.l.f. brushes, e.l.f. geometric eyeshadow palette and Stila Portrait of a Perfect Eye my fabulous sister The Evil Queen gave me for Christmas, but I unfortunately have no idea how to use.

The next step was prep. The store was hosting an Estee Lauder global makeup artist and skincare expert named Derek for the day. Rosita had him come in and give me a mini-facial. Derek first cleansed with a product called Perfectly Clean, which is a non-foaming cream cleanser that doubles as a moisture mask. He recommended applying before I get in the shower, letting the product and steam work some magic, and either rinsing or buffing off with my Clarisonic. Then he used a pair of classic serums: Advanced Night Repair and Advanced Night Repair Eye. After the serums he applied Advanced Time Zone eye cream, a new product called Revitalizing Supreme, and Resilience Lift Night for the neck and decolletage.

LESSON #1: "Night" creams and serums can and should be used during the day. 

Between the GlamGlow and the fabulous Estee Lauder products, my skin has never felt better. I bought the GlamGlow, cleanser and serums. They were expensive but worth it. 

I will use the moisturizers I have (Clinique Moisture Surge Intense and Moisture Surge Eye) and will consider the Estee Lauder creams when it's time for new. And one of my self-discovery items that I may keep up forever is Clinique's Take the Day Off oil cleanser. I've been using it at night only for two weeks and I'm obsessed with it. Oils are a new trend that I hope stays around, because this cleanser is an absolute must for my dry winter skin.

Rosita stated with eyes. I had my face done at the BareMinerals boutique once and they did this also. I think the reasoning is so you don't get eyeshadow dust all over your under eye concealer. I've been trying this at home for a few days and it's a trick I will stick with. She applied Urban Decay Primer Potion using a brush, which allows for more control and only the amount of product you need, as opposed to applying with your finger. Rosita taught me how to play with color, which is something I've never been good at, and how to layer and blend eyeshadows. We went through my brushes and pallets at the same time so I could replicate the look at home. She used a BareMinerals Ready 4.0 pallete called The Happy Place: a pretty peach shimmer on my lids, matte grey in the crease, and shimmery plum as eyeliner.

LESSON #2: Apply eyeshadow first.

LESSON #3: Apply eyeshadow primer with a brush.

LESSON #4: Blend your eyeshadows!

Before we got started with foundation, Rosita color matched my face using this neat Sephora + Pantone computer system. Basically, this device takes pictures of your face in three places and spits out a code, which you then plug in to the in-store system or the Sephora website to get a complete list of all the foundations that match your skin color. You can email it to yourself and save it to your Sephora.com profile. No more testers! No more buying something that is perfect in the store but looks weird in natural light! It's pretty amazing. We tried a few different options but settled on Makeup Forever Professional Face & Body Foundation. The product is lightweight, sheer-to-medium coverage, and made of 80% water. Rosita applied Makeup Forever Professional HD primer and foundation using a cute pink Beauty Blender sponge. She applied a NARS concealer to my under eye area in a V-shape, extending the V up past the outer corner of my eye for a lifting effect, and blended with the sponge. Then she added a Sephora Smoothing & Brightening Concealer in rose to the inner eye and dark circles and blended with the sponge. The combined effect was fantastic and I've been able to replicate it successfully at home.

LESSON #5: Have your foundation color matched by a professional. It's free and easy!

LESSON #6: Apply undereye concealer in a V shape for a lifting effect. 

Rosita then brought out a NARS palette called NARSissist cheek: bronzer, Orgasm blush, and highlighter in one. She taught me how to use all three products for a combined sculpting effect that is great for everyday contouring and highlighting without being full-on Kim Kardashian. She finished the look off with a Sephora Collection Nano lip liner and lipstick, and a fantastic Tarte pencil called EmphasEYES Inner Rim Liner in nude that gives a natural bright and awake look. Advising that I shouldn't need to set with powder, Rosita gave me a light spritz of a Caudalie spray by L'Wren Scott and, after checking that the mascara I'd applied at home that morning was still in good shape, I was good to go. 

I've been able to replicate everything successfully at home because the entire concept of the PBA is to teach you how to do it all yourself. I use Urban Decay All-Nighter setting spray before leaving the house in the morning. At lunch, I use translucent powder (BareMinerals READY luminizing Mineral Veil) on my nose to reduce shine. It's been a week and I am very pleased with the long-lasting effects. My skin is happy and I feel fabulous.

Goth birthday + pink hairspiration

It has always been my dream to have pink hair. I really do want a full head of cotton candy, but a) since my hair is so dark we'd have to bleach the crap out of it and that's expensive and b) I was always at a place of work where that wasn't allowed. So needless to say, I was really stoked to find Bumble & bumble's Spraychalk in Blush, which is the perfect light pink. It's a temporary spray-in colour that shampoos out, and after reading reviews about how good it was on dark hair, I gave it a try. Needless to say, I was stoked about the results. There isn't a ton of colour in one can but I think doing the tips looked really cool, and it was absolute perfect birthday hair. The only problem was that I was too drunk to shower after we got home so the colour got all over my boyfriend's pillows, but since it washes out, its no matter! I wore a beautiful Elizabeth & James dress, and I even matched my nails to it:

(Nails Inc in Onyx Rush, Essie in Sugar Daddy, and Julep in Chelsea. Become a Julep Maven here! I love their monthly boxes, it's so much fun to get new nail colours!)

Unfortunately it's only temporary hair colour, so I'm still dreaming of a full head of pink. One day it'll happen!  Here are my favourite pink hair looks:

Abbey Lee's dipdye

Audrey Kitching is totally to blame for my wanting pink hair

The wonderful Angelina aka ALB

Bad bitches, the lot of them.

VIB status achieved!

So the other day I leveled up at Sephora and became a VIB! I'm actually really stoked about this, because the package not only came with 10% off my next purchase and Free shipping, but also a card for a 45-minute makeover, which I am totally going to cash in for my birthday next month. Playing at Sephora is one of my favourite things to do when I have the time, and I've had pretty good luck with the recommendations they've given me, even at my local store.

I went in there to look into skin exfoliants, especially a sugar body scrub, after reading this article from Huffington Post about SW Basics of Brooklyn (which I still fully intend on trying, because the article was hilarious and convincing). I picked up Fresh's Brown Sugar Body Polish and Sugar Lip Polish, as well as samples of their Umbrian Clay facial exfoliant and Soy Moisturizing Cream. I'm loving pretty much all of it, especially the Sugar Body Polish and the exfoliant, which works much better than the Grand Central Beauty S.M.A.R.T. Skin Perfecting Polisher. That left my skin feeling dry and tight, and Fresh's product doesn't at all. There are lots of little microbeads in there that make me feel like I'm getting a good scrub, and I can feel my skin getting softer already and I've only used it twice. So next time I go back to Sephora I'm going to pick up full sizes of those, for sure, though I'm tempted to try the Facial sugar scrub too! Sugar scrubs all around!

I also picked up a small size of Urban Decay's Naked Skin BB cream to try. I'm a big fan of Urban Decay and have been using their products for a long time, and recently switched over to their Naked Skin foundation. My friend Michaela of A Mane of Her Own uses a BB cream and loves it, so I wanted to give it a go. It gave me a really nice glow and was nice and thin, very light and easy to wear. However, I didn't feel like I got enough coverage without a proper foundation. I think a BB cream like this is great for weekends or lazy days when I don't want to wear a lot of makeup or just need a little SPF, though. Definitely great for the no-makeup makeup look.

First Sephora Haul

Since I'm just starting out on this journey of trying new products, I decided to pick up a bunch of tester sizes and boxes to get a feel for everything without spending big money. I need a new mascara since mine flakes a little, and I regularly use Urban Decay foundation, but it's hard to find in stores anymore since I think they're phasing it out in favor of the Naked line. I'm also really excited to try some facey glowy things and the dry shampoo (which was as per the Sephora lady's recommendation). So we'll see how this goes!

From top left:  Benefit Goodtime Gals: Posietint lip & cheek stain, Girl Meets Pearl face brightener, That Gal brightening face primer / Smashbox Photofinish Foundation Primer with SPF 20 / Benefit Ooh La La Lift under eye brightener / Buxom Lash Mascara / Too Faced Beauty Blogger Darlings: Chocolate Soleil Matte Bronzer, Primed & Poreless face primer, Better Than Sex mascara, Shadow Insurance eye shadow primer / Oscar Blandi dry shampoo / Bumble and bumble straight blow dry / TokyoMilk Dark eau de parfum Destiny #79 / Urban Decay Naked Skin Liquid Makeup / Soap & Glory A Great Kisser lip balm